Managing a relationship is challenging.
Couples encounter exhilarating highs and inevitable lows.
Naturally, it is so easy to celebrate the happy moments with yourself and share it with your friends. But it can be tough to discuss the challenges because it may make you double-think about the relationship’s stability and overall success.
However, the hard times can be a good indicator that you’re doing something right in your relationship.
Relationships require balance.
You can continue to approach the joyful moment whilst being able to recognise where growth is required.
It can be difficult to figure out if your relationship is doing well.
So here are 7 patterns that couple therapists noticed in couples who made it.
Boundaries with Family
Putting your relationship over your family is important.
It’s not to say cut your family off. But understand that you are planning to wake up and spend your life with your partner, not your family.
Setting clear boundaries with families will allow you both to put your relationship first. Your family’s wants and needs should not dictate your relationship and what you both want to do.
Don’t vent to your family about every issue, especially the meniscal ones. People do not need to know the ins and outs of your relationship. Especially your family who will always want the best for you and remember these small bad times.
Do what’s best for your partnership, together.
A Strong Foundation of Friendship
If you’re excited to come home after a long day and just chill with your other half, make dinner and have a laugh — you’re in a good space.
You want your other half to see the best side of you — not the cranky side due to what work or the rest of the world has done to you.
Being in your partner’s presence when you have a solid foundation of friendship can take a lot of stress off one’s shoulders.
Friendship is the basis of a true relationship.
Powered Through the Dark Times
Every relationship has its ups and downs.
And this isn’t to say that the dark times have to be detrimental to one’s mental health or happiness. It means that you were able to go through the challenges together and still be able to build a stronger relationship.
You’re going to reach times when you start to doubt the relationship. But it is important to understand if the difficult crossroad is due to external factors such as work and money, and not because you don’t love each other anymore.
Dark times establish and build trust.
Be Yourself
If you want to truly feel free — be yourself, especially in your relationship.
When you are unapologetically being yourself, it creates a level of respect and admiration for each other. A level of understanding that this person is like this and I accept them for it — rather than a desire to change them.
The freedom to be who you want to be with your person will be the happiest moments you create with each other.
Freedom to love each other openly.
Communicate Through Difficult Conversation
There are always going to be times when you and your partner sit down to have difficult conversations. How you choose to approach them will determine the stability and success of your relationship.
Communicating regularly to understand the other person’s perspective will allow for emotional regulation. If you continue to avoid or cope with your emotions by yourself, it will just lead to explosive moments in the relationships which can be difficult to overcome.
Difficult conversations don’t have to be so hard.
Arguments Are Normal
Some people tend to believe that relationships are perfect, and when you argue it means that it’s time to call it quits.
If this is your perspective on relationships, I would advise to avoid them.
You and your partner will argue, they will get on your damn last nerve, they will frustrate you — it’s normal.
What you need to understand is that two people, with two different upbringings, two different lives, and two different moral compasses are coming together to share a life. Of course, you’re going to bump heads somewhere down the road.
But it’s about how you navigate conflict, rather than staying in it for too long.
Bounce back and move forward.
Love Their Quirks
When you choose your person, you have chosen them based on EVERYTHING.
Not just because of their looks, or their drive for success. But their quirks in every way.
And yes, these quirks may be highly annoying — but it goes back to the previous point of being yourself.
Make light of these quirky situations and don’t be judgemental.
Love them for their annoying quirks.
The Blueprint to a Successful Relationship
Like I said relationships are hand — I wish there was a rule book handed to me.
But it’s a learning process.
A process where you learn about yourself and a process where you love your person unconditionally.
You’re going to have your bad days and yes they’re going to feel bad. But it is normal and it is not the end of the world!
Reflect, improve, bounce back and continue!
