I was talking to a friend recently who went on a series of dates with a girl he was beginning to have a strong connection with since things were going well.
“Out of nowhere,” their dynamic went from great to nonexistent.
After a long conversation with him, it was pretty easy to identify what went wrong.
He broke one of the three golden rules.
I will have to leave you on a cliffhanger because the other two are for articles I will write after this, but rule number 1 never gives a woman the ick, otherwise known as instantly turning her off.
There are some ways to turn a woman off that are out of your control, but there are some you have autonomy over.
There are the simple ones, like dressing well, having good hygiene, and being consistently respectful.
There are more layers to the game that women notice that leave you feeling clueless when they’re “here today, gone tomorrow.”
Don’t panic. Most men have made these mistakes to some degree before.
Men break these rules because they don’t think about the long-term consequences of an action.
We’ll stop all that and break down the keys to this golden rule, so let’s go.
Lunchtime
When we meet someone new, it is inevitable to try to show your best self and create a positive first impression.
You want to discuss your life and hobbies and build attraction through multiple dates.
The result is a woman having a vision of what a life with you would look like.
Remember all those things you said on the first and second dates? Well, if you don’t, she does.
One of the easiest ways to give a girl the ick is to feed her a dream of what life with you would look like and then not live up to it.
Don’t be the guy who “is a foodie, “loves to go on adventures, “and loves social gatherings,” but instead, you haven’t gone out in weeks, and the recurring chipotle charges are piling up on your card.
Men have a fear of telling women the truth about their lives because they think they have to talk themselves up to be the best option.
I think it is pretty cliche to “be yourself,” and it will attract women, but I will say that when a girl is attracted to you, being your true authentic self is the best way to keep her around.
I know that sounds the same, but it’s not.
Score the goal
You know how you hear women want high-earning men, fitness influencers who built their businesses overnight.
Okay, some of them have this exact checklist, but there’s layered meaning to it.
Women want a man on a mission, going after his goals and setting intentions and direction for his life.
I have coached men who think because they don’t have a high-earning job, lack hobbies, and feel stuck in life, it is the reason why they also don’t do well with women.
It is not true at all.
The reason you have these problems, and it creates issues with women, is because you are comfortable without any desire to improve or you don’t have a plan.
Women usually don’t have a problem with your current state but want to hear how you plan for the future.
The irony here is that it snowballs off of the first point. Women don’t want you to feed them dreams, but they also like to be able to envision a dream for the future.
You don’t have to have a massive list of goals, but there is an easy way to elevate things you’re already doing or are interested in.
You want to get in the gym = I want to hit this target weight by the end of 2024, and I started working with a trainer and doing yoga.
I want to be more social = I started attending events through Meetup to get out of my comfort zone and get out during the week.
I want to make more money = I started a side hustle and worked with a mentor to find the direction I am looking for.
Your presentation is half of the vision.
The line
Do you know what creates attraction?
Curiosity. It is an element of attraction that attributes to women more than men.
Fact. More women listen to and watch crime shows and murder mysteries than men. Curiosity, they need the answer.
Stop there because there is something important that you need to know.
There is a difference between curiosity and leaving a woman wondering.
Women do not like to be stuck in the wonder zone searching for the answers to questions she has about you.
The quickest way to turn a woman off and give her the ick is to leave her with more questions than answers.
The difference is that curiosity is something you can watch develop, learn more about, and come to a conclusion.
Wondering is when you still have questions after seeing something and remain in the dark without an answer.
I know, guys. Girls like mysterious men. Well, it better be a mystery that can be solved, damnit.
It is good to be a guy who is not always available. She better know why.
Know how to toe the line and don’t cross into dangerous territory.
