You don’t always know what you’re doing sometimes…
But that’s okay, because we’ve all been there before.
It’s so easy to become addicted to the excitement of falling in love. But it can make you forget about the things you shouldn’t do.
However, if you’re serious about finding lasting love, there are two things you should avoid when dating someone.
And what is the most important part? Your self-respect has to be stronger than your feelings.
Because your feelings don’t always recognize the warning signs right in front of your face.
Don’t let blind love make you sabotage yourself.
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1. You shouldn’t rush into a relationship.
- Love is not a sprint; it’s a marathon.
You expect too much from someone because you think everyone has the same big heart and loyalty as you. I know you care about the person.
But I’m sure you will go crazy if your partner demands a lot from you, right? So why are you doing this to yourself?
You expect too much from the early stages, but I hope you learn from it.
For some people, it only took a week to realize they’d found their future spouse. That’s great, but it’s a different experience and journey for everyone.
The important thing is to take it easy and slow. You’re not in a rush to marry someone fast because your biological clock is ticking.
Do you wanna know what’s worse?
Rushing into a marriage and having a child in your late 30s (biological clock ticking)—then you realize you’ve married the wrong person, and now you have to deal with this toxic person for the rest of your life because you have a child together… Which means lots of stress.
You know what’s better? Not being married and having children after your biological clock is over. At least you’re enjoying your life, carefree, because you’re not dealing with a crying baby and an immature spouse.Play Video
Slow the hell down.
Rushing into a relationship as if your life depends on it is the easiest way to cause a long-term disaster. Emotions are not always right in the head.
Sometimes you have to follow your heart, but you also have to follow your brain. — or love will make you do stupid stuff. Relationships take time.
And if you really love that person,
You will give them space to live the life they had before meeting you, allowing them to pursue passions, set goals, and live a life full of energy.
Stop having high expectations for people.
Not everyone has the same big heart as you.
And that’s okay.
Life still goes on.
And everything’s gonna be okay.
Here’s what you can do:
- Take a deep breath, and do some meditation sessions about letting go of people and expectations. Enjoy the journey of getting to know someone, instead of seeing it as a job. Ask questions to get to know the person better. Stop complaining to them about why they haven’t responded to you in one hour. You’re not the center of the universe; they have other things to do. Let the relationship progress naturally.
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2. Don’t turn a blind eye to red flags
- “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” — Oprah Winfrey.
But also calm down by turning everything into a red flag.
Not everything is a red flag; the person you’re dating is allowed to call you out for your BS after you humiliated them (in public or in private)
But anyway, yeah, don’t ignore the red flags such as love bombing in the early stages of dating, not respecting your boundaries, calling you “crazy,” and “you’re just too sensitive” types of classic, ignorant comments.
And no, you can’t fix them; you’re just going to waste your time trying to change someone who refuses to change. The disaster will only get worse if you don’t leave.
Dating someone should feel like heaven, not hell.
You don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who has a hatred for certain types of people. You don’t wanna be with someone who won’t give up their seat for an old person.
You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t appreciate and acknowledge the things you do for them.
You don’t wanna be with someone who is a troublemaker.
You did not waste your whole life working on yourself just to be with someone who hasn’t worked on themselves.
They won’t change, and that’s why they have been the same toxic person for over 10 years, and it has only gotten worse with time.
You can’t change them; it’s a waste of time.
As soon as you see the red flags,
Tell them, “I don’t think this will work out…”
“It’s not you, it’s me.” — kind of response.
Because you don’t wanna tell them the truth since they aren’t ready for it. And it’s not your job to be a mother and explain their bad behavior.
Just leave; no words are needed.
Here’s what you can do.
- Open your eyes, I don’t know? Pay more attention to the way the person treats other people, such as the janitor. Does the person call their ex “crazy”? That person will call you the crazy ex too… (Unless their ex was ACTUALLY crazy… Like a toxic narcissist who treats everyone like sh*t… Then it’s another story)
- Listen to your intuition. Does hanging out with this person make you feel like you’re not good enough after the conversation ends? Do you get interrupted a lot? Is this person acting too much like a child? These are the things you should be aware of.
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The last words…
Life is too short to repeat the same mistake.
You’re not an idiot for making stupid mistakes while dating someone. These silly mistakes are only here to make you a better person.
I used to be in the early talking stages with someone simply because I fell for his looks, but the talking stages made me realize that I liked him for the wrong reasons.
Looks are still important when dating someone.
I’m sorry, but looks and personality matter; they both matter.
If you don’t care about the looks, only the personality, then great; more power to you, but some people (us, young people) want to feel naturally attracted to someone, physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.
Nothing wrong with wanting a hot boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife 🤷🏻♀️
You will feel lucky dating a hot person, and that person feels confident for being good-looking. Both of you feel satisfied.
And you know what? It doesn’t matter if other people don’t think your partner looks attractive— all that matters is that YOU find them attractive.
But yeah, don’t rush into a relationship. If you rush into anything, you will regret it. Rushing only leads to disaster; speeding up the gear in the car leads to most disasters. Don’t speed up; take it slow and enjoy the progress.
Don’t stick your head in the sand and ignore those red flags waving right before you. Confronting the harsh truth is challenging, but it’s necessary for growth and learning from the situation.
Trust your intuition, always.
And let the love happen naturally.
