Genesis was her name. I had earth science class with her freshman year, then chemistry senior year. I remember both classes vividly, and for one reason: her.
When I first met the brown haired Latina, I instantly took note of her stunning beauty. However, I had never had a serious girlfriend up until that point, so I was scared to make the first move. Fortunately and unfortunately, I had to hear from her friends about her disappointment in my lack of virility. Fortunately because I now knew she liked me for sure, and unfortunately because I had missed an opportunity. No matter, as I decided I’d give her a kiss the next time I got the chance to.
For a while there we were sorta boyfriend and girlfriend, talking for hours on the phone after school and growing closer and closer with each passing day. She seemed to be my soul mate, and I thought we’d have a long and bright future together. Unfortunately, I was wrong.
Once she saw that I wasn’t sexually experienced and/or confident, that’s when her interest in me began to wane. I had never had sex before, and as some of you may know, men mature a bit slower than women do. So, while she was ready to get her pussy pounded, I was still trying to find myself. What my passions were, what I liked in a woman, and what I wanted to do with my life were still all undetermined.
After a while of us just kissing, she got bored with me and moved on. Soon after that, a buddy of mine told me he was with her, which hurt me at the time since I had such strong feelings for her, but what was I to do? It was my own fault.
So, let’s recap. First, me and Genesis become friends. We start hanging out and getting to know each other, leading us to the talking stage. Then, after a bit of time, we take it to the next level and become boyfriend and girlfriend. This period in our relationship lasts a short amount of time, after which we stop talking completely.
Pretty shitty story, huh? And this was waaayyyy back in high school, many years ago.
Now why, you might ask, am I thinking about her now, after all this time has passed?
I think it’s a myriad of things. For one, I don’t have much going on in my life at the moment, and with each day that passes by, I realize I am more and more alone.
As I’m getting older, I am able to acknowledge all the things I could’ve done differently. Girls I could’ve had different relationships with, places I could’ve traveled to, subjects I could’ve studied, etc. Basically, if I could go back in time, I would do almost everything differently. I’d study a new subject in college, put my romantic focus on other women, and stay under the radar of the police. If I could’ve done those three things differently, I have a feeling my life would look quite a bit different than it does now.
Ever since I got put on probation for a DUI, I haven’t been able to leave the county. It’s been years. If I had stayed on the straight and narrow, I can only imagine how things might’ve panned out.
Not going to jail is one thing, but picking the right partner is everything. Knowing what I know now, I kick myself everyday for staying in toxic, dysfunctional relationships where I was held emotionally hostage and manipulated constantly. One particular relationship comes to mind, but I won’t go into that here.
All I’m saying is, be smart. Don’t just jump into any relationship you can. Pick the right one, and you will be forever fortunate. Pick the wrong one, and you may very well be fucked for the rest of your life.
Genesis, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry. I wish we could’ve been more than what we were, but I know that by now, you’re probably married with kids. If not, maybe I still have a shot, but either way, the point of this article is to shed some light on my regrets.
Hopefully someone can learn from my mistakes. Otherwise, what did I make them for?
