Author: Story Teller
I’m 5-feet-5. Women I meet reject me, and I don’t get matches on the dating apps. I’m lonely and low in confidence, and I’ve almost given up hope. So I’m considering a painful procedure in which my legs would be broken and lengthened to make me a few inches taller. It costs about $100,000. I know it’s radical, but I’m desperate. Should I go through with it? GERALD, 28, NEW YORK CITY Woah, $100K to have your legs broken? I know a guy down at the docks, Nicky “The Nostril,” who’ll do it for way less. I feel your frustration,…
Maybe it’s my gender. Maybe it’s my generation. Whichever, I’m not at all curious how many sex partners you’ve had just because we’re having sex. Even when I was 20, 30 or 40 years younger I didn’t care. I assume, since we’re grown, and if you aren’t coming out of a decades old marriage, that there have been quite a few. Why do I assume that? Because if we’re of the same generation, we came of dating age after the sexual revolution. I was divorced from my first — and until that point only — sexual partner at a time…
In our batshit crazy digital age, where relationships often leave a trace in the virtual world long after they’ve withered away in the real one, an ex’s actions on social media can indeed baffle us. Among these actions, being unblocked by an ex on Instagram stands out as particularly intriguing. It’s a gesture that hits us quietly, without fanfare, yet carries the weight of a thousand words, leaving us to wonder, why the fuck would they do it? Why has my ex unblocked me on Instagram? Does it signify a change of heart? Are they extending the proverbial olive branch?…
What if that’s the worst thing I ever do? I remember pleading with my ex-boyfriend to forgive this horrible thing I had done. I knew in my bones that I would never do anything like that again and that it was the worst thing I ever did and ever would do for the rest of my life. I cried and pleaded. But I had broken his trust. I had shown this other side of myself that even I didn’t know was there. And this other side of me was too much over the line for him. He didn’t know the…
Doc, How does one come to terms with the fact that there is no one on this planet that they are compatible with? I know that’s a rather depressing outlook, but from my perspective it seems the only choice I’ve got is to seek an answer to that question in order to move on and accept the hand I’ve been dealt with in life. I’m not going to pretend that you haven’t read this all before, either, as I’m yet another case of “on paper, ticks all the boxes”; a career-driven and physically healthy male with a heart of gold,…
Years ago, I was talking to an old friend of mine. He was one of the first people amongst us to get divorced. I felt sad for him. Until he told me something. “Are you doing okay?” I ask. “I’m okay,” he says. “I knew when I was walking down that aisle I was making a mistake.” “Really?” I say. “Yes,” he says. “It became a runaway train that I couldn’t get off of. She had suffered some loss in her life. I felt like I couldn’t do it to her at that moment. I didn’t want to hurt her.”…
When a plate slips from our hands and shatters on the floor, most of us don’t think twice: we sweep up the pieces and throw them away. In Japan, however, rather than disregarding the broken piece of pottery as ruined, people put it back together and consider it more beautiful for having been broken. It’s a Japanese art form that’s called “Kintsugi”. In today’s society, where we so easily throw everything away — whether it is objects, plans, or people — this Japanese art is a revolutionary way of looking at things and a great example of how we should…
Every year as Valentine’s Day approaches, people remind themselves that not all expressions of love fit the stereotypes of modern romance. V-Day cynics might plan a “Galentines” night for female friends or toast their platonic “Palentines” instead. In other words, the holiday shines a cold light on the limits of our romantic imaginations, which hew to a familiar script. Two people are supposed to meet, the arrows of Cupid strike them unwittingly, and they have no choice but to fall in love. They face obstacles, they overcome them, and then they run into each other’s arms. Love is a delightful sport, and neither reason…
Doctor’s Note: The second letter in today’s column deals with descriptions of assault, forced sex acts and abusive behavior. Dear Dr. NerdLove, After being in a 2-month rebound relationship in 2021, I’ve learned that it has strongly and negatively affected how I view people fresh out of relationships, and has given me a unhealthy habit of assuming the worst out of people who are even friends with their exes (which I now think is totally ok, given the circumstances). This guy hard pursued me in the few weeks leading up to the start of the relationship, ultimately leading to his…
Weall have our beliefs. Some serve us, some don’t. Our life experiences often reinforce these self-limiting beliefs. A cycle of self-sabotage, especially when it comes to affairs of the heart. Limiting beliefs are assumptions you’ve decided are true. But they may not be true at all. They’re blocking you from giving and receiving love. Our ego holds onto these beliefs making us think we’re protecting ourselves. But the reality is we’re living in fear. When we have a belief we subconsciously look for evidence to support it, and that’s what keeps us stuck. 1. Good men are rare Or they’re…