Ladies, how frequently do you initiate sex?
I believe I know the answer.
Almost never.
Most guys grumble that their partners never initiate the first move. “It has been years. And when I do, the response is invariably ‘NO.'”
It is begging. Even if he is the most selfless and generous of lovers.
“I can make her squirt!”
“I love eating her out!”
“I build romance!”
“I love to pamper!”
“She always cums.”
And the results are the same. She will not initiate sex.
I wonder why?
Women are essentially “trained” from birth not to express their sexuality in any way. Society refers to us as sluts when we wear a blouse that is too low or a skirt that is too high. If we have sex with too many partners, we are referred to be prostitutes. If we try to ask a person we like out, we come out as “desperate” or too pushy.
Men are praised for being sexual, whereas women are (often) punished for it – by family, friends, and society at large. Initiating sex is “dirty” and “unladylike”.
Women are expected to overcome our lower instincts.
Even when we want to, that voice in the back of our minds says, “Don’t do it,” and “If you act too interested in sex, he’ll think you’re easy.”
What if males stopped attempting to push?
So, you’d have a lifeless bedroom, right? No sex at all. I am there. I am personally familiar with that pain. “I’m not sure why you can’t make the first move,” my husband used to question.
Because getting rejected is not fun.
“Hey, ya want to?” I’d implore him at the start of our marriage while giving him a delicate caress.
Then followed the list of excuses.
“I’m tired.”
“It’s a school night.”
“Maybe this weekend.”
Moving on to: “What is wrong with you?”
I’ve heard a lot of “no’s.”
What exactly was wrong with me? Nothing really. I was a high-libido female who masturbated all the time. I attempted to put up with his lack of sexual urge. I eventually gave up.
And it’s too easy to quit up.
“It doesn’t matter how long I wait in between time frames, whether I buy her flowers or if I don’t pick up my underwear,” men say. “She doesn’t initiate sex.”
To initiate sex, you must declare, “I desire you” to your partner.
When someone rejects you, you feel insecure.
“I’m not attractive enough.”
“She doesn’t like my body.”
“Maybe I’m bad at sex.”
“He’s not turned on by me.”
Men must be tough when it comes to initiating sex. And for women, new cultural programming enables us to experience desire. It’s not simple for either.
However, for many couples, the sexual distance grows deeper.
The dead bedrooms come next.
Let me explain where that leads.
You’ll go looking.
Someone will want me. Someone else will desire me. Someone else will offer comfort.
And you start cheating. Or getting divorced.
