One of the biggest challenges for men in dating is having to face rejection after rejection. The socially expected male role in dating is to take the initiative, and the socially expected female role is to respond with either acceptance or rejection.
He shows blatant interest first. He asks her out. He takes the risks. There are many reasons why our genders roles became this way, including the societal slut-shaming of women who show too much interest (darn that pesky patriarchy and its discouragement of women’s sexual agency).
This leads to women rejecting men a lot more than men rejecting women since there are inherently fewer opportunities for the latter to happen. And the rejections will invariably outnumber the acceptances, no matter who you are.
Those rejections take their toll. As I mention in Never Lonely: The Uncensored Guide on How to Attract and Be Loved by Women, the psychological pain from social rejection neurologically activates the same parts of the brain that light up when we experience physical pain. It hurts, it’s exhausting and, at times, it’s humiliating.
So, we try to minimize rejections as much as possible. Some men do this by never taking the initiative, and some men do this by avoiding women altogether, both of which get you about the same results.
Asking women out, flirting with them, picking them up, seducing them, or whatever you want to call it, is a skill. As with any skill, you can improve it. If you want to build a foundation of any sort of proficiency in that skill, it will take some practice. And, in the process of practicing, you will get rejected. A lot. There is no avoiding that.
However, the better you become at any skill through practicing it again and again, the less you will experience failure. That is, the less rejection you will encounter.
Idiots such as incels fundamentally disagree with this concept. Many of them mistakenly believe that it’s all about appearance, that you will always get rejected 100% of the time if you aren’t tall, white, and handsome.
Why do incels believe this? Aside from the obvious reason of using such excuses as a scapegoat so that they won’t have to do the hard work of taking responsibility for their actions or lack thereof, many of them fail to understand that men’s and women’s attraction mechanisms work differently.
For the vast majority of straight men, a woman’s appearance is definitively what determines our initial feelings of attraction. If we don’t think a woman is physically attractive, it doesn’t matter how attractive her personality is, how good she smells, how she makes us feel with her words, or anything else. All that stuff only matters after we think of her as physically attractive first. And incels assume that women’s brains work the same way as ours.
You could say that a woman’s attraction functions a lot more holistically. Someone’s appearance is only one part of the equation, and not being the hottest in terms of looks can easily be compensated for. That’s where the “skill” part can come in.
Sure, if you’re fit and fashionable, it will help a lot. But if you’ve developed a ton of confidence and charisma after doing 1000 approaches and learning from each experience, you could even be 60 pounds, confined to a wheelchair, and still get plenty of action.
So, long story short, the best way to get women to stop rejecting you is to practice approaching them, talking to them, asking them out, getting rejected, learning from your experiences, and calibrating yourself as you go.
Will that stop rejections 100% of the time? Probably not.
Will it make it 1000% easier for you to find love? Absolutely yes.
You might be disappointed that I’m telling you to avoid rejections by first going through rejections, but I promise you it’s worth taking your lumps. The more you get rejected, the less it will hurt. And the more tolerant of rejections you become, the freer you will be to improve yourself in all the ways you need.
