In our batshit crazy digital age, where relationships often leave a trace in the virtual world long after they’ve withered away in the real one, an ex’s actions on social media can indeed baffle us. Among these actions, being unblocked by an ex on Instagram stands out as particularly intriguing.
It’s a gesture that hits us quietly, without fanfare, yet carries the weight of a thousand words, leaving us to wonder, why the fuck would they do it? Why has my ex unblocked me on Instagram?
Does it signify a change of heart? Are they extending the proverbial olive branch? Are they leaving breadcrumbs with hopes you’ll follow them? Is unblocking you simply due to a desire to move past old grievances?
Read further to find out.
Reasons Your Ex Unblocked You On Instagram
While not an exhaustive list, here are some reasons that occur with most of my readers.
1. Simple Curiosity
Human curiosity knows no bounds, especially when it comes to people we once shared a significant part of our lives with.
So your ex unblocking you on Instagram could simply mean they’re curious about you. More specifically, they’re interested in what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, how your career is unfolding, how your health is holding up, or how your dating life is looking.
2. Pure Boredom
Perhaps your ex unblocked you because they didn’t know what else to do to pass the time. Maybe they just needed something — anything, really — to do at a particular moment.
It’s a strange thought, isn’t it? That you might just be another tab open in their web of distractions, a momentary cure to the dull ache of boredom. Not a longing but a mere whim to stir up the still waters of their day. Sucks to say, but this does happen often.
3. Accidental Unblocking
Not every unblock carries some emotional undercurrent. Sometimes, your ex might unblock you entirely by accident.
They could be cleaning up their block list, reevaluating their privacy settings, or they might have accidentally hit the unblock button. Yes, this last one happens more often than you’d think.
4. Personal Growth And Moving On
You’ll hate to hear this, but another typical reason your ex unblocked you is that they’ve moved on. That, or that they’re deep in the process of doing so.
Who knows, maybe your ex no longer feels the need to keep you out of their digital life. Not because they want you back but simply because they’ve accepted the breakup and are ready to let go entirely.
5. A Desire For Reconciliation
This is by far the rarest reason your ex unblocked you. Nevertheless, it’s still worth pointing out.
Occasionally their unblock could mean your ex has processed their feelings, is ready to open the doors to communication, address any unresolved issues, if need be, even apologize, and ultimately give your relationship another shot.
6. Social Media Etiquette
In some cases, your ex unblocking you might be influenced by social media etiquette. See, our little digital age comes with its own set of social norms, and for some, keeping an ex blocked might seem unnecessarily harsh or immature, especially if mutual friends are involved.
Therefore, your ex’s unblocking could be a gesture of goodwill, a way to show that despite the breakup, they can handle the situation with maturity and grace — a response aligned with the likely social norms of our digital landscape.
7. A Need To Show Off
Another reason your ex might have unblocked you is to hopefully make you notice their exciting or provocative social media updates and get jealous.
Rarely will an ex be as toxic to opt for this path. Yet there are nutjobs out there who do. If you find out this was the reason for your ex’s unblock, block them and never give them another shot. They’re damaged goods, after all. You don’t want to date damaged goods.
How To Interpreting Your Ex’s Unblock
Deciphering the meaning behind being unblocked requires a nuanced understanding of your situation. Here are three simple considerations to help interpret the whole thing.
1. Context Is Key
The context surrounding the breakup and your current relationship with your ex plays a crucial role in interpreting their decision to unblock you.
For instance, a friendly parting might lend the action a more benign interpretation. Meanwhile, a dramatic and contentious one might lend a more hostile interpretation.
2. Communication Can Clarify
If your ex’s unblocking is accompanied by a reach-out, it may indicate a desire to mend things. Especially if your ex reached out about something personal and not tied to logistics (pets, kids, living arrangements, etc.).
However, in the absence of such a reach-out, it’s risky to assume that your ex’s unblock carries any specific intention regarding reconciliation. Spoiler: it probably doesn’t.
3. It’s Not Always About You
Social media actions are fundamentally ambiguous and often have multiple motivations. So your ex unblocking you might not necessarily signify a desire to reconnect or revisit the relationship. Nor does it necessarily indicate your ex is hurting without you.
Gestures like these can, in general, be more about the person’s relationship with themselves and their journey rather than a direct message to you. Keep note of this while you try to interpret your ex’s unblock.
Responses To Expect When Unblocked By Your Ex
Here are some of the most common ones I’ve encountered, not necessarily always following the order presented.
1. Surprise And Curiosity
Discovering that your ex has unblocked you may elicit surprise and spark curiosity. Many people don’t anticipate this development, leading to umpteen questions about their ex’s motives and where they stand attraction-wise.
While there’s nothing bad about asking yourself those questions, it is bad when your curiosity turns into a fixation, leading you to scrutinize and obsess over your ex’s social media activity.
2. Renewed Emotional Turmoil
For some, being unblocked can reopen old wounds and stir up emotions they thought were resolved. Nothing wrong with this, of course. That is…
…As long as those reopened wounds and reignited emotions don’t lead to harmful and sabotaging behaviors like chasing your ex, begging them for another chance, pleading with them, or stalking them — be it digitally or in real life.
3. Hope And Speculation
Being unblocked might also instill a sense of hope in those who haven’t fully moved on, leading to speculation about reconciliation. Be careful here.
Sure, there’s nothing bad with hoping for your ex’s return. However, too much hoping can lead to expecting them to return. It’s here where our mental health begins to suffer. For it’s the expectations that cause us to pressure ourselves, make dumb decisions, and eventually harm our mental health.
4. Indifference Or Acceptance
On the other end of the spectrum, some people might feel indifferent to being unblocked by their ex. This is where you want to arrive. How? Through what I keep harping on this blog for years now: personal growth done for no other reason than because you want to better yourself.
Note, however, that some people bullshit themselves into not caring about being unblocked as a way to cope with their longing, anxiety, and pain. Therefore, it’s wise to pay attention to why you’re feeling the way you’re feeling. Sometimes your indifference will be genuine. Other times, it’s only a woeful, weak façade you put on so you don’t have to deal with your emotional baggage.
How To Respond To Being Unblocked By Your Ex
While there is no one-size-fits-all answer, here are a few ideas to experiment with, presented in no specific order.
If You Want To Get Back Together With Your Ex
- Avoid overanalyzing. It’s easy to overthink the situation. Try to keep a level head and avoid making assumptions about your ex’s intentions. Just because they’ve unblocked you doesn’t mean they suddenly love you.
- Know that being unblocked isn’t enough. You want your ex to message you directly before you engage them in a conversation, let alone invite them on a date. And even then…
- …You want your ex to directly message you about something personal. Not something tied to logistics, like kids, pets, or living arrangements, as I wrote earlier.
- When/if your ex reaches out about something personal, your priority is to set a date. But don’t just jump the gun. Ease into it. Talk like you usually do for about 3-5 text messages (or have a five-minute phone call, granted your ex called), and only then invite them out. Or at least imply that you’d like a date if you’re shy.
- Read the following article and apply its advice. It covers the rest of my process for getting back with an ex: How To Get Your Ex Back And Actually Keep Them.
If You Want To Recover (Perhaps Even Move On)
- Maintain your distance and carry on. Just because your ex unblocked you doesn’t obligate you to interact. Continue with your social media activity as you would normally, without engaging with them.
- Consider your privacy. If their unblocking makes you uncomfortable, consider adjusting your privacy settings. This could involve restricting their access to your posts or even blocking them if necessary.
- Reflect on your feelings. Put another way, ask yourself how being unblocked makes you feel. Why is this stuff important? Because your emotional response to being unblocked will give you a pretty good idea of where you stand breakup recovery-wise — and what potential obstacles you’ll have to overcome to reach acceptance.
- Leverage the no contact rule. While here’s a complete guide on it, in short, it means cutting off all communication with your ex indefinitely. So no phone calls, texting, cyberstalking, orbiting near places they’ll be at, asking mutual friends for intel about them, and so forth.
- Consider a social media detox. That is, a conscious elimination or restriction of social media use for about 30 to 90 days so you can emotionally distance yourself from your ex and anything that may remind you of them and reopen your breakup wounds. To learn more about it, read this guide.
- Read the following article and apply its advice. It covers a step-by-step process to recovering from a breakup (even if you still want your ex back): How To Get Over Your Ex And Move On With Your Life.
Final Thoughts On Getting Unblocked By An Ex
Five words: it’s not that fucking special. Getting unblocked by your ex is just another Tuesday night in the vast, weird world of relationships and social media.
Take it with a grain of salt, a shot of tequila, or whatever helps you keep moving forward. Because at the end of the day, the only person’s actions you can control are your own. Let’s not give our exes more screen time than they deserve.
Onwards and upwards, folks.
