I may not be speaking coherently right now because I’m sort of having a mental breakdown.
I spent five years with my (now, I suppose, ex-girlfriend). She wanted to wait until it felt perfect, so we didn’t have sex until after four years together. It was something I deeply valued. Naturally, I wanted to have sex with her, but I didn’t want to because I loved her more, so I waited until she explicitly informed me that she was ready (and even dragged me into the bedroom).
She informed me she wasn’t in the appropriate frame of mind to be with me and that she wanted to step back from our relationship only in January. She told me she loved me and would be with me again when she got her act together, even if I was hurt. We kept in touch and spoke every day. I couldn’t wait for the day we could reunite.
She began screaming at me at the beginning of the month about this “gross” guy in her friend group who was making out with her and staring at her body. made fun of him, etc. I warned her to avoid such a weirdo out of irritation. She labeled him a creep, etc., and assured me she would.
After a few days, she gives me a call to let me know that they had sex. She was talking about how she had no idea how it had happened, how quickly it had happened, how amazed she was at herself, and so on. She responded that it was voluntary, “but she wasn’t thinking straight,” which broke my heart but made me want to make sure at least. I was feeling queasy and trembling all over. As I was leaving for a big test, she gave me a call. I think I made it through, but as soon as I was finished, I threw up and raced out of the classroom. She apologized over several texts, telling me it “meant nothing” and that she was just in a horrible place. I informed her that I was unable to talk to her at that time.
It hurts what she did, but it hurts much more how she did it. With a man she hardly knew, how could she have done this? And such a spooky one. She took her sweet time with me; how could she have done this so effortlessly? I’m incensed and appalled. There’s a lot of anger. I’m not typically anything close to being a misogynist, but why is this such a slap in the face? I know she didn’t owe me sex and she owns her own body, so part of me feels bad about how I feel. My heart feels as though it was bitch-slapped.
Do I have this wrong?
She’s 20 and I’m 21. Together, at the ages of sixteen and fifteen, we lost our virginities to one another.
She tells me she doesn’t think we should talk anymore because of her “terrible mental state” right as I was about to contact her to say goodbye or shut her off. She surprised everyone by fucking him once again. She stated that she committed the act once more because she “doesn’t want to pull me down with her” and is on a downward spiral. stated that she wanted to “live my best life without her” and protect me from a woman as crazy as she is. I believe she blocked me. Six years This girl is someone I know. five years of dating. all for it to come to this conclusion. I have no idea how I’m going to carry on with my education.
I neglected to mention that, for some reason, she thought it was crucial to inform me that they had not worn any protection and that he was, well, inside of her. Take note: we always wore condoms. That adds another degree of emotional damage to the fact that she might be unwell or even pregnant right now, eliminating any chance of our reconciliation (not that there was ever one in the first place).
