Brett Jakubiak, an associate professor of psychology at Syracuse University, investigates whether emotional touch might help people retain intimacy and provide responsive social support.
Jakubiak specializes in interpersonal support mechanisms that reduce stress, promote autonomous goal pursuit, and improve relationship quality throughout the lifetime.
For Valentine’s Day, Jakubiak describes his findings and offers some tips to promote both individual and relationship well-being.
Q: What exactly are you looking at in your research on the impact of intimate physical contact on well-being?
A: In my research, I evaluate whether caring contact is an effective method to help couples retain closeness and manage conflict.
provide responsive social support. In one ongoing experiment, I’m determining whether affectionate contact is a uniquely effective technique for promoting these outcomes, or whether verbal affection is as useful. In the same study, I’m also looking into whether couples are particularly willing to expand one type of affectionate communication.
These are important concerns because researchers and physicians need to know not just which interventions work best, but also which ones are realistic to execute.
In another study, my doctoral student, Jason Mitala, and I are investigating how long-distance couples compensate for a lack of physical love in their relationships. We anticipate that partners who engage in touch-adjacent behaviors (such as saying how they wish they could touch or blowing kisses on Facetime) will cope better with separation than partners who do not use these methods.
Q: Why does emotional touch matter in relationships? What are the benefits (for romantic, familial, and friend relationships)?
A: Affectionate touch sends a clear message that we are not alone and are loved (or at least liked!). Touch is the first language we learn as babies, and it is the first method we learn that we are protected and cared for. In maturity, touch retains some of its value. People feel less anxious and are less alert to danger when they know someone is there to “have their back.”
We also reserve touch for people we like, so receiving a hug or even a high five conveys some level of affection.
Touch is another effective approach to provide social support; it is less difficult for providers and more appreciated by recipients than verbal assistance (which can accidentally miss the mark when individuals say the “wrong” thing).
However, not everyone enjoys giving and receiving touch, and it is not acceptable in all situations or relationships. It’s usually a good idea to inquire if it’s acceptable to offer a hug or other affectionate gesture.
Q: What other characteristics contribute to a good and strong relationship?
Relationships thrive when partners communicate clearly, express gratitude, spend quality time together (without digital distractions), support each other’s goals, and compromise when disagreements arise.
Surprisingly, research regularly demonstrates that the setting outside and around a love relationship determines its success. Relationships are more likely to be robust and healthy when partners have adequate economic resources, a supportive social network of family and friends, and cultural acceptance of their relationship.
Q: How can individuals apply what you’ve learnt from your studies to improve both individual and relational well-being?
A: I believe that focusing on relationship fitness is a smart first step toward improving individual and relationship well-being. We know that the quality of one’s relationships is a crucial driver of overall health and well-being, therefore we must work as hard as we do to enhance and maintain our cardiovascular fitness.
That could include spending more quality time with your partner, seeking individual or couple counseling to gain insight into your relationship dynamics, or accessing resources to strengthen your communication skills.
If all of that seems out of reach, prohibitively expensive, or too ambitious for today, my research suggests that simply adding a little more affectionate touch to your relationship may help you access the skills you already have and improve the quality of any time you do have to share with your partner.
